It has taken me a week and a day but I feel that now I can put down on paper, or computer my thoughts and feelings about my 1st Boston Marathon.
I woke up early on Marathon Monday to howling winds and heavy rains I avoided the Internet, TV and radio as I did not want to know anything weather related. At this point I felt I had my gear to keep me dry and warm, and to just get on with things.
I had a shower to make myself feel energized, I cannot really say it worked as with my stomach being so sick yesterday afternoon I felt far from brilliant. Had a yogurt before leaving the house, but no liquids as it was going to be a long morning and I was trying my best to avoid the dreaded Port-O-Potties.
Got the T into the city and that is when it really hit me, I was going to be running my first Boston Marathon, today, bad weather or not, upset tummy or not, today was the day.
The T was certainly busy with lots of runners, and my friend and fellow LUNA chix Michelle joined me on the T. I have to say it was so nice to have someone to chat, and to hang out with until the race start, especially someone who I have bonded with over many a long run.
It was quite a scene on the T and also once we got to the bus pick-up on Tremont Street, most people had lots of layers on, lots of waterproof clothing, plastics bags on shoes, and off course all carrying the bright, colourful BAA clothing bag, for leaving your stuff in until after the race. There were also some eejits in singlets and shorts, freezing there ass's off and getting soaked - I know people are die-hards too and that is fine if you want to run in minimal clothing, but to be hanging around hours before the race dressed like that is just stupid to me. Keep warm and dry was my motto - as the race itself is a challenge enough.
The bus to Hopkinton was fun, everyone was chatting, sharing stories about their past marathons, qualifying stories, and for people like me lucky entries into the most prestigious marathon. You would not have thought from the banter that the conditions were as there were, except if you looked at the bus windows, which was steamed up and had zero visibility due to the darkness and the rain.
I did eat and drink on the bus, so by the time we arrived in Hopkinton the need for the toilet was there. The lines were not too long, but it was a challenge with the layers and the clothing making a quick toilet trip. My stomach was feeling more settled, and I did not really feel that pre-race panic that I normally have which was good or so I thought. At this stage I just wanted to get out of all my layers, and run!
The village was I can only describe as a farm, instead of being full of animals, it was full of runners!!! The main area of the village was mucky, nasty and not fun. I am sure on a nice dry day the village is abuzz with activity and relaxing, but then and there, we were all trying to take shelter where we could, which for Michelle and Me was along the side of the school, standing beside a brick wall, with a slight ledge overhead to shelter us from the rain falling, but not the wind, and then off course the wind blowing the rain at us. We only stood there in the same spot for about 2 hours - before we started to line up in our respective corrals for race start.
Afterwards I read reports that the wave 1 start were treated to some heavy rain and wind right at the start at 10am, I was on the second wave at 10:30am and it was dry, the sun broke out, and the first two miles I discarded a pair of pants, a scarf and a pair of gloves, I was wearing two pairs, and decided one was more than enough!
The first 5K was fun, I was giving high-fives to the spectators, soaking up the crowds, pleased that the weather was tranquil, I ran in some nasty ice and cold windy days over the winter so I was very happy with the weather at that point. I was going at a nice easy pace and knew that I needed to hold back, for the challenges ahead.
It was a nice feeling crossing the timing mat at the 5k, as I knew that all my supporters would see that I started and was on my way to Boston.
Somewhere between Ashland and Framingham I got worried, I was not feeling great my legs were fine, my stupid foot that bothered me for weeks felt fine, but my stomach just did not feel great. My pace was slow for me, each time I tried to pick it up a bit I felt nauseous - ok no big deal I told myself - keep taking it easy and it will pass.
Got to the 10K point, see a fellow Chix Alex whose Dad was running, friendly wave and kept on running.
At mile 9 in Natick I was worried, my stomach still felt nasty and also my hamstring was tight, I stopped a few times to stretch it out, which felt good for a while, but then would tighten up. It had mildly bothered me since my last run on Wednesday before the marathon, so I remained calm, told myself that it would hold up as I was not doing a killer pace, easy strides.
The crowds were great and just watching other runners and having people calling out to me, was a great distraction from how I was feeling - people were routing for me - and that was a great feeling.
Out of nowhere, I heard what I would describe as a banshee wail - it was actually the very infamous Wellesley Girls - before even seeing them, the college or the sign for the college - you hear this noise so overwhelming you are startled by what it is. I have heard many a runner talk about it, and have read about it, but to experience it first hand was amazing! They rocked, the tradition they keep for being the loudest group of fans anywhere on the course is outstanding, they themselves deserve a cheer as I am sure they have motivated many a struggling runner over the years. I stayed far to the left of them, and let the many males run along them and get their kisses - the noise was more than enough from where I was.
Even after passing you could still here the noise and then silence - not silence off course but the noise level dropped considerably, there was still spectators and cheers - but I think at this point this is where I started to worry - worry.
I knew my pace was slow, with walking and stretching breaks too, but I just noticed that my half marathon time was 2hr 27, this was 4 weeks after running a half marathon in 1hr 58. I never expected that I would be running that pace for the marathon as I needed the stamina for finishing, but I was way slower than what I have anticipated. My hamstring was bothering me more, and my stomach was nauseous.
Now I experienced appendicitis, kidney stones and kidney infections and off course nausea and diarrhoea and consider myself to have a pretty high pain threshold. My doctor told me after my experience with Kidney Stones that childbirth would be easy in comparsion! I have had bad running days, we all have had them days when 3 mile feels like torture, I just felt like that - I felt crappy - every time I would try and propel myself forward I felt like I was forcing myself to really move forward, my stomach would feel jerky. There are days, when I run I feel no effort is exerted that I just am gliding along - I was not having one of those days.
I am a smart person and know the power of positive thinking can do wonders, so I was trying to send as many positive thoughts along to my body from my Brain, it worked for a well, but then negative Emma would creep in. I was half-way there, I was half-way to the finish line, soon I would be more than half way there, I knew I could do it, I was determined to finish I just wished that I did not feel so miserable.
The crowds as we headed for Newton helped, I was slowing down for sure. At mile 15 I passed a medical tent and stopped by. The staff there were trying to get me to lay on a stretcher - jeez did I look that bad - I knew I did not, I insisted I was fine, I wanted to see if they could do some massage on my hamstring, I felt like if that could loosened up I could push the pace a bit and have one less thing to worry about it. They sprayed it with Benjay, which did help loosen it for me.
I felt confidence just from stopping and talking to them, at no point while at the tent was I done - I just wanted to see if I could make the next 11 miles a little easier. It really did help for about 9 minutes, I ran my second fastest mile of the marathon mile 16-17 and then I slowed, again it was my tummy. I did not need the bathroom or anything, it just felt like ill, it ached - I had no idea why or no idea what to do.
I was drinking water, taking my GUs (which I fully trained with) there was just no relief to how it felt. Soldier on, if I had to walk I walked, if there was downhill I ran down it, if felt ok not brilliant ok. If there was an uphill I marched up it, as my tummy felt like crap running up it.
At times I wondered where my mental strength was - but now looking back - it was there otherwise I would not have finished! I would have stopped, got a bus, a train.
On Comm Ave, I was telling myself ok, you are almost home, there are hills fine - you will slow down fine- the end is insight fine. I saw a friend at the bottom of the Newton Hills and I hugged her furiously, we chatted I head on with a smile on my face it was great to see a friendly face.
What can I say about the Newton Hills? I attacked them, bull-dozed up them, floated like a cloud to the top... NO... I walked up them, so did many of the people around me, which I loved, I was not alone, I was not the only one tired, sore or not feeling great. I talked to one guy whose PR for the marathon was 3:30 here he was walking up Heartbreak Hill with me. Whoever you are you made me feel better about the situation, we both know on other days we could run up the hills, but NOT that day - just not our day.
At this point, my hips hurt, my ankle throbbed, lots of things hurt, lots of muscles were sore. So what I was at the top of the hills, less than 4 miles to go, I knew those 4 miles would feel like forever, but I knew too that then I could stop.
At mile 22, I cried, I was home in Cleveland Circle, where I live and where I run every day, the last several miles of the marathon course, my regular run. I cried as I was looking forward to arriving here the most, and I was very sad that at this point I felt like shit and I knew that these last few miles would be tough unlike the many times I have ran these miles.
I saw Kristin my good friend, I saw her before she saw me and that really choked me up. It was great to chat with her, get a hug and see that people were routing for me, she said all the right things, and who only knows what I said, I was in a bad way mentally - as I wanted to feel strong and had no strength.
There was a downhill onto Beacon St and off I went. What I had started to notice from Boston College onwards was that lots of the crowd were drunk - good for them - I was getting what they probably felt were friendly slaps on the back wishing me well, they really felt like big thumps to me. I started hoping they would feel as sick as me when they woke up Tuesday - sorry - that is how I felt.
At Coolidge Corner, I meet an my Angel - Kelli - she is another LUNA Chix, I ran past her and then she realized it was me and appeared at my side, she stayed there to the finish line and it really meant so much to me. I was miserable, she made me smile, I was walking lots, she helped me start jogging, I was in pain, she made me feel like I was winning the race.
I think that this rates pretty high with the crowds at Wellesley as the two highlights of the Marathon for me. She ran pointing at me, telling people to cheer, she shouted to people on Boylston Street the last stretch of the marathon to cheer I was finishing my first Boston Marathon, she is in my official photos and it is great. She offically escorted me over the finish line of my first Boston Marathon!
As we rounded onto Boylston Street, there it was the finish line. I just wanted to finish, there were many points when I thought I won't be able too, it felt like eternity since I left my house that morning at 6am, I wanted to be home soakng in a nice warm bath. I was scanning the crowd, I spotted Conor oh my god it was great to see him in the crowds, he snapped a picture, I passed the final timing mats, I stopped dead in my tracks, I hugged Kelli and I fought back the tears.
Shortly after I was reunited with Conor and the smile he had on his face when I saw him was just brilliant, it made me feel great. He is my best friend, husband, biggest supporter and the person who motivates me the most. In my eyes he is a rare find and I am a very lucky girl.
He tracked me online and was worried about me, as he knows my pace well, he was concerned as he knew as I was struggling and thought it was my foot. If only that stupid foot held up well!
My time was much slower than my only other marathon time I had not expected that, I was a stronger runner now than I was then. My official time was 5:16:42. It is official I cannot change it, I cannot change anything about that day, I lived it and that is the way it is.
It has took me a week to write about the day and how I felt - I was still trying to figure out if I was disappointed or not.
I finished and hung in and I am extremely proud, on the day I felt at times I was not mentally tough enough, but now in hindsight I felt like by finishing, by hanging in with things not going well for me, that was me being mentally tough.
I know that it does not reflect in any way my best effort, but it was my best effort on the day. I give it everything I had.
I woke up early on Marathon Monday to howling winds and heavy rains I avoided the Internet, TV and radio as I did not want to know anything weather related. At this point I felt I had my gear to keep me dry and warm, and to just get on with things.
I had a shower to make myself feel energized, I cannot really say it worked as with my stomach being so sick yesterday afternoon I felt far from brilliant. Had a yogurt before leaving the house, but no liquids as it was going to be a long morning and I was trying my best to avoid the dreaded Port-O-Potties.
Got the T into the city and that is when it really hit me, I was going to be running my first Boston Marathon, today, bad weather or not, upset tummy or not, today was the day.
The T was certainly busy with lots of runners, and my friend and fellow LUNA chix Michelle joined me on the T. I have to say it was so nice to have someone to chat, and to hang out with until the race start, especially someone who I have bonded with over many a long run.
It was quite a scene on the T and also once we got to the bus pick-up on Tremont Street, most people had lots of layers on, lots of waterproof clothing, plastics bags on shoes, and off course all carrying the bright, colourful BAA clothing bag, for leaving your stuff in until after the race. There were also some eejits in singlets and shorts, freezing there ass's off and getting soaked - I know people are die-hards too and that is fine if you want to run in minimal clothing, but to be hanging around hours before the race dressed like that is just stupid to me. Keep warm and dry was my motto - as the race itself is a challenge enough.
The bus to Hopkinton was fun, everyone was chatting, sharing stories about their past marathons, qualifying stories, and for people like me lucky entries into the most prestigious marathon. You would not have thought from the banter that the conditions were as there were, except if you looked at the bus windows, which was steamed up and had zero visibility due to the darkness and the rain.
I did eat and drink on the bus, so by the time we arrived in Hopkinton the need for the toilet was there. The lines were not too long, but it was a challenge with the layers and the clothing making a quick toilet trip. My stomach was feeling more settled, and I did not really feel that pre-race panic that I normally have which was good or so I thought. At this stage I just wanted to get out of all my layers, and run!
The village was I can only describe as a farm, instead of being full of animals, it was full of runners!!! The main area of the village was mucky, nasty and not fun. I am sure on a nice dry day the village is abuzz with activity and relaxing, but then and there, we were all trying to take shelter where we could, which for Michelle and Me was along the side of the school, standing beside a brick wall, with a slight ledge overhead to shelter us from the rain falling, but not the wind, and then off course the wind blowing the rain at us. We only stood there in the same spot for about 2 hours - before we started to line up in our respective corrals for race start.
Afterwards I read reports that the wave 1 start were treated to some heavy rain and wind right at the start at 10am, I was on the second wave at 10:30am and it was dry, the sun broke out, and the first two miles I discarded a pair of pants, a scarf and a pair of gloves, I was wearing two pairs, and decided one was more than enough!
The first 5K was fun, I was giving high-fives to the spectators, soaking up the crowds, pleased that the weather was tranquil, I ran in some nasty ice and cold windy days over the winter so I was very happy with the weather at that point. I was going at a nice easy pace and knew that I needed to hold back, for the challenges ahead.
It was a nice feeling crossing the timing mat at the 5k, as I knew that all my supporters would see that I started and was on my way to Boston.
Somewhere between Ashland and Framingham I got worried, I was not feeling great my legs were fine, my stupid foot that bothered me for weeks felt fine, but my stomach just did not feel great. My pace was slow for me, each time I tried to pick it up a bit I felt nauseous - ok no big deal I told myself - keep taking it easy and it will pass.
Got to the 10K point, see a fellow Chix Alex whose Dad was running, friendly wave and kept on running.
At mile 9 in Natick I was worried, my stomach still felt nasty and also my hamstring was tight, I stopped a few times to stretch it out, which felt good for a while, but then would tighten up. It had mildly bothered me since my last run on Wednesday before the marathon, so I remained calm, told myself that it would hold up as I was not doing a killer pace, easy strides.
The crowds were great and just watching other runners and having people calling out to me, was a great distraction from how I was feeling - people were routing for me - and that was a great feeling.
Out of nowhere, I heard what I would describe as a banshee wail - it was actually the very infamous Wellesley Girls - before even seeing them, the college or the sign for the college - you hear this noise so overwhelming you are startled by what it is. I have heard many a runner talk about it, and have read about it, but to experience it first hand was amazing! They rocked, the tradition they keep for being the loudest group of fans anywhere on the course is outstanding, they themselves deserve a cheer as I am sure they have motivated many a struggling runner over the years. I stayed far to the left of them, and let the many males run along them and get their kisses - the noise was more than enough from where I was.
Even after passing you could still here the noise and then silence - not silence off course but the noise level dropped considerably, there was still spectators and cheers - but I think at this point this is where I started to worry - worry.
I knew my pace was slow, with walking and stretching breaks too, but I just noticed that my half marathon time was 2hr 27, this was 4 weeks after running a half marathon in 1hr 58. I never expected that I would be running that pace for the marathon as I needed the stamina for finishing, but I was way slower than what I have anticipated. My hamstring was bothering me more, and my stomach was nauseous.
Now I experienced appendicitis, kidney stones and kidney infections and off course nausea and diarrhoea and consider myself to have a pretty high pain threshold. My doctor told me after my experience with Kidney Stones that childbirth would be easy in comparsion! I have had bad running days, we all have had them days when 3 mile feels like torture, I just felt like that - I felt crappy - every time I would try and propel myself forward I felt like I was forcing myself to really move forward, my stomach would feel jerky. There are days, when I run I feel no effort is exerted that I just am gliding along - I was not having one of those days.
I am a smart person and know the power of positive thinking can do wonders, so I was trying to send as many positive thoughts along to my body from my Brain, it worked for a well, but then negative Emma would creep in. I was half-way there, I was half-way to the finish line, soon I would be more than half way there, I knew I could do it, I was determined to finish I just wished that I did not feel so miserable.
The crowds as we headed for Newton helped, I was slowing down for sure. At mile 15 I passed a medical tent and stopped by. The staff there were trying to get me to lay on a stretcher - jeez did I look that bad - I knew I did not, I insisted I was fine, I wanted to see if they could do some massage on my hamstring, I felt like if that could loosened up I could push the pace a bit and have one less thing to worry about it. They sprayed it with Benjay, which did help loosen it for me.
I felt confidence just from stopping and talking to them, at no point while at the tent was I done - I just wanted to see if I could make the next 11 miles a little easier. It really did help for about 9 minutes, I ran my second fastest mile of the marathon mile 16-17 and then I slowed, again it was my tummy. I did not need the bathroom or anything, it just felt like ill, it ached - I had no idea why or no idea what to do.
I was drinking water, taking my GUs (which I fully trained with) there was just no relief to how it felt. Soldier on, if I had to walk I walked, if there was downhill I ran down it, if felt ok not brilliant ok. If there was an uphill I marched up it, as my tummy felt like crap running up it.
At times I wondered where my mental strength was - but now looking back - it was there otherwise I would not have finished! I would have stopped, got a bus, a train.
On Comm Ave, I was telling myself ok, you are almost home, there are hills fine - you will slow down fine- the end is insight fine. I saw a friend at the bottom of the Newton Hills and I hugged her furiously, we chatted I head on with a smile on my face it was great to see a friendly face.
What can I say about the Newton Hills? I attacked them, bull-dozed up them, floated like a cloud to the top... NO... I walked up them, so did many of the people around me, which I loved, I was not alone, I was not the only one tired, sore or not feeling great. I talked to one guy whose PR for the marathon was 3:30 here he was walking up Heartbreak Hill with me. Whoever you are you made me feel better about the situation, we both know on other days we could run up the hills, but NOT that day - just not our day.
At this point, my hips hurt, my ankle throbbed, lots of things hurt, lots of muscles were sore. So what I was at the top of the hills, less than 4 miles to go, I knew those 4 miles would feel like forever, but I knew too that then I could stop.
At mile 22, I cried, I was home in Cleveland Circle, where I live and where I run every day, the last several miles of the marathon course, my regular run. I cried as I was looking forward to arriving here the most, and I was very sad that at this point I felt like shit and I knew that these last few miles would be tough unlike the many times I have ran these miles.
I saw Kristin my good friend, I saw her before she saw me and that really choked me up. It was great to chat with her, get a hug and see that people were routing for me, she said all the right things, and who only knows what I said, I was in a bad way mentally - as I wanted to feel strong and had no strength.
There was a downhill onto Beacon St and off I went. What I had started to notice from Boston College onwards was that lots of the crowd were drunk - good for them - I was getting what they probably felt were friendly slaps on the back wishing me well, they really felt like big thumps to me. I started hoping they would feel as sick as me when they woke up Tuesday - sorry - that is how I felt.
At Coolidge Corner, I meet an my Angel - Kelli - she is another LUNA Chix, I ran past her and then she realized it was me and appeared at my side, she stayed there to the finish line and it really meant so much to me. I was miserable, she made me smile, I was walking lots, she helped me start jogging, I was in pain, she made me feel like I was winning the race.
I think that this rates pretty high with the crowds at Wellesley as the two highlights of the Marathon for me. She ran pointing at me, telling people to cheer, she shouted to people on Boylston Street the last stretch of the marathon to cheer I was finishing my first Boston Marathon, she is in my official photos and it is great. She offically escorted me over the finish line of my first Boston Marathon!
As we rounded onto Boylston Street, there it was the finish line. I just wanted to finish, there were many points when I thought I won't be able too, it felt like eternity since I left my house that morning at 6am, I wanted to be home soakng in a nice warm bath. I was scanning the crowd, I spotted Conor oh my god it was great to see him in the crowds, he snapped a picture, I passed the final timing mats, I stopped dead in my tracks, I hugged Kelli and I fought back the tears.
Shortly after I was reunited with Conor and the smile he had on his face when I saw him was just brilliant, it made me feel great. He is my best friend, husband, biggest supporter and the person who motivates me the most. In my eyes he is a rare find and I am a very lucky girl.
He tracked me online and was worried about me, as he knows my pace well, he was concerned as he knew as I was struggling and thought it was my foot. If only that stupid foot held up well!
My time was much slower than my only other marathon time I had not expected that, I was a stronger runner now than I was then. My official time was 5:16:42. It is official I cannot change it, I cannot change anything about that day, I lived it and that is the way it is.
It has took me a week to write about the day and how I felt - I was still trying to figure out if I was disappointed or not.
I finished and hung in and I am extremely proud, on the day I felt at times I was not mentally tough enough, but now in hindsight I felt like by finishing, by hanging in with things not going well for me, that was me being mentally tough.
I know that it does not reflect in any way my best effort, but it was my best effort on the day. I give it everything I had.
A marathon is not a sprint it is a journey.
How long is 26.2 miles anyway?
To some people it is 2hr 29 (that is the time that it took Grigoryeva, Lidiya the women's winner), to others it is 3hrs 30 minutes, there are the people who it is 4 hours too and there are the people who is 5 hrs plus.
To others - 26.2 miles - is there 40 minute commute to work.
On April 16, 2007, 26.2 to me was 5:16:42. At some point in the future it will be another time, another story. That is why I run, to challenge myself, to get stronger, to experience the moment, to build memories.
Less than .1% of the American population run a marathon. I am a runner who loves stats who love numbers, HR, pace, weekly mileage, I love that stat and that I am part of that small percentage.
Thanks to all you, for supporting me and wishing me well and making me feel like I won the marathon!
_________________________________________________________________
Congratulations to Michelle and Gayle my two friends who ran that day. Congratulations to all the Boston finishers. Congratulations to everyone who trained and could not run, I know how that feels and it sucks, but the training is something you should be proud of too.
To those who started and did not finish, congratulations to you. By showing up taking part, you have done more than the average Joe. I wish you better days for your next marathon.
Thanks to the BAA for putting on such a great event. Thanks to the weather gods, thankfully it was not as bad as we forecast.
